These days, with all the tools we have available, we are far more connected and capable of staying in touch than ever before!
 
So don’t you find it a bit ironic that in today’s workplaces, lack of communication remains one of the biggest issues for employees? Regardless of the industry or size of company!
 
Here’s the thing - if your team doesn’t feel heard, they don’t understand the direction of the company, never get constructive feedback, or they don’t think you care about them as a person, then why would they give you their best work?
 
Every one of those ‘misses’ can be remedied simply by taking steps to form a better connection with your team.
 
It’s More Than Words
Communication, when it does occur, may be missing the mark altogether! Between abbreviated texts and messaging, overwhelming volume of email or the ever brief, on-the-fly meetings these days, communication and connection is deteriorating, especially at work.
 
To further complicate our ability to communicate is the fact that most of us hear (absorb) less than 10% of what is actually spoken!
 
According to the Mehrabian Theory we attribute more meaning of a message through body language, facial expression, tone and pace of the conversation than that of the actual words voiced – hence why texts, messages, email and even phone messages can be misconstrued!
 
So ask yourself - how likely is it that YOU are communicating most effectively for your message to be received the way you intend it?
 
Using the scenario below, I’ll demonstrate my 7-step method to build rapport so you can improve every interaction!
 
Scenario - Disconnected Team
Team members, who report to your managers, have told you they feel disconnected lately. They claim that most one-on-one meetings with their manager(s) are being cancelled, and when they do happen it’s a quick download of one-way directives of what to get done, versus real conversation.
 
As a result, they feel excluded in the overall success of the department and don’t see the opportunity to learn, grow or develop. You sense a few are looking to leave the group or worse, the company.
 
You believe manager’s (on your team) need to involve their teams in problem solving vs giving orders and begin having development-focused one-on-one’s with each person (at all levels), at least once a quarter to rebuild a positive workplace.
 
What Not to Do
Even though it may seem the quickest ways, please don’t just call a meeting of your direct reports to tell them to start having one on one meetings focusing on development.
 
Just like their team members, they too will tune out being given a directive and may even take it out on their teams for speaking up, further complicating the problem.
 
7 Step Method For Communicating To Connect
While these steps may seem lengthy, it actually takes only a couple of minutes to practice and tailor to your circumstance.
 
Here are the steps:

1. Prepare
2. Create a safe environment
3. Lead with open-ended questions
4. Meet them ‘where they are at’, before diving in
5. Take time to make a personal connection
6. If delivering candid feedback be tough not mean
7. Be clear, direct and provide specifics

 
1. Prepare - consider your audience and check yourself. Think about what is important to you and why, and how might they view it?

• Ask yourself what is the manager’s preferred way to communicate? What is their communication style? Are they more fact-based than people focused? Do they react fast or slow? Are they more indirect or direct in their approach?
• Consider each managers communication needs before your discussion and tailor your approach to meet theirs (aka. flex your style)

 
2. Create a ‘safe’ environment – remember to praise in public, criticize in private

• Book individual meetings with your managers to deliver this particular message. Keeping it private ensures they can feel comfortable to discuss openly.

 
3. Lead with open-ended questions – question for clarity about their view of the situation and gather their input

• Use open-ended questions to create two-way dialogue i.e.) ‘What have you been you doing to engage your team in problem solving these days, given it has been so busy? How have you involved the team in developing solutions? How do you think it is going?’

 
4. Meet them ‘where they are at’, before diving in – use their viewpoint to build on. Putting yourself in their shoes shows you’ve heard them (it also demonstrates empathy)

• Listen carefully to HOW they answer your question, maintaining eye contact and matching your body language, tone and pace with theirs
• The key is to keep dialogue open, avoiding a closed posture that may create tension or defensiveness
• Respond based on their response, build on THEIR perspective not yours

 
5. Take time to establish a personal connection – consider the challenges they speak about and build rapport by showing you understand how they feel, validate their perspective (this is not a feedback sandwich)

• ‘[Insert Manager’s name] I can see you’ve had a lot on the go and I’ve seen you putting in very long hours. How do you think we can ensure everyone is getting feedback and meaningful work for their growth and development?’

 
6. When delivering candid feedback, be tough, not mean – show that you genuinely care about them as a person and expect a change to occur

• ‘I’ve heard from several team members that one on ones keep being canceled because you’re so busy. Unfortunately the perception is that they are not important and they are not receiving feedback to grow. I know that is not your intent’
• ‘What help do you need to change that?’

 
7. Be clear, direct and provide specifics

• ‘Starting next month I’d like you to meet with each team member, at least once each quarter, with the primary focus for their development’
• ‘I expect you to prioritize one on one meetings to remain connected to your team, even if they are just half an hour or occur every two weeks
• ‘I will commit to the same meetings with you so you can let me know how I can help’

 
Remember: Its All About Them
The same steps will work for any topic, particularly powerful for sensitive issues; the key is paying close attention, hearing their perspective, demonstrating you want their success and being clear about the outcomes that are needed.
 
Communication serves as the foundation for a positive employee experience for all of us. As a leader when you demonstrate support both through your words AND non-verbal interaction, your team will feel more valued and heard.
 
Taking time to get to know others and developing an understanding of their communication styles provides a platform to connect on a more personal level. This also creates stronger, more cohesive working relationships where difficult subjects can be discussed and dealt with efficiently.
 
Help Is Available
To gather insights on your team’s communication styles there are a variety of tools available (ie assessments, questioning techniques) feel free to reach out if you need help to find the right approach to connect and communicate in your workplace.

According to Gallup State of the Global Workplace 2017, 85% of employees worldwide are not engaged or are actively disengaged in their job.
 
“The low percentages of engaged employees represent a barrier to creating high performing cultures around the world. They imply a stunning amount of wasted potential.”
 
Wasted potential. How that phrase resonates with me!
 
Death by Administration
I'm sad to say, I was one of the walking ‘wasted potential’ not too many years ago. It was a dark and miserable time. My employer was doing a massive restructure, de-layering spans and levels and it was my job to implement it for my division.
 
The work I so loved and excelled at suddenly switched from senior level advisor to a massive load of mundane administrative tasks Every. Single. Day. It went on for months.
 
This kind of work was my worst nightmare and, the truth is, I wasn’t very good at it.  What a waste!
 
Wasted potential.
 
People can’t thrive when they are doing the wrong work. It devalues them, misuses talents and creates unnecessary pressure.
 
During stress-filled change, leaders can fall asleep at the helm; too busy ducking for cover, they completely overlook the signs of utter disengagement around them.
 
Don’t waste your best resources like that; you will surely lose your highest potential people when you don’t pay attention.
 
Expert Lessons
A great way to stem the tide of employee disengagement is to tap into the abilities of EACH and every person on your team. Get people doing the right work using their best skills, long before a change occurs.

According to Gallup's survey analytics it is your high potential talent that will take a walk if they are not engaged, long before the others. These top talent are the experts to learn from!
​
Here is what they say: 
 
​Lesson 1

• Know their career aspirations and full employment background. What do they love to do? What do they detest doing. Why?

Lesson 2

• Know the strengths of each person. Never assume they want to or can do the work that everyone else does. Always match work to their strengths. It will save everyone time and pointless stress.
• Caution: A ‘stretch assignment’ isn’t taking on a bunch of administration or more work; stretch is learning a new skill that will help them and YOU in the future!

Lesson 3

• Know them as individuals. What environment makes them feel valued? Learn their communication and behavioural styles (use tools to discover) so you know where they struggle. Validate assumptions with the person directly, to be sure.

Lesson 4

• Identify the right incentives for each person. Top talent rises when they connect with real meaning and purpose. Make connections for them. How will their work make a bigger impact, better connect to the customer, and build a better company. Give them the ability to influence HOW they are recognized for achievements.
• Caution: Carrot and stick rewards do not work with high potentials. Offering a bonus to achieve an unattainable goal will not lead to greater engagement.

Lesson 5

• Spot the Hi-Po’s (High Potential). Based on their demonstrated behaviour, and how they work with others, watch for those who have the making of a leader. They are the ones who seek ‘meaty’ work, influence others positively and demonstrate company values. Let them know you see their potential. Having them lead a process, a project, a team meeting or strategy planning session shows trust.
• Caution: High Performance does not necessarily mean High Potential. Don’t confuse the two.

Lesson 6

• Give them meaningful feedback. One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is candid feedback. Provide regular feedback that is both constructive and supportive. Candid feedback may be tough to give but so powerful to build your best people’s skills and career. Seek their feedback. They want to help you too, as long as you are open to receive.
• Caution: Feedback is not an ‘Atta Boy/Girl’ slap on the back. It is well thought out, providing a crisp accounting of what's working and where to make change, from a helpful perspective.

​
Lesson 7

• Stay in touch. Your high potential employees need a different type of leader than the “newbies” or the “steady Eddy's”. Don’t just look for status updates, check in on what is working well, where they have struggles, what help they need from you, what is getting in their way, ask them questions, actively listen…and then, most importantly, follow through!

Engagement Counts
The best leaders demonstrate they care about each and every team member by taking an interest. They pay attention, particularly during stressful times, leveraging potential vs wasting it. They make it a practice to develop potential, all the time. They allocate work in a way that plays to their people’s strength and they keep them connected to the bigger picture. 
 
When you demonstrate YOUR engagement, harnessing the potential of your best and brightest, you are guaranteed better results for highly engaged employees.
 
If you have a disengaged team (or team member) or are leading through stressful times and need support, I’m only an email away! I help leaders grow and develop by working with them through the toughest of times.

I want to hear from you, tell me about your own experience in the reply section below.

Last month we focused on the letter “S” – Steadiness of the DiSC behavioural style.
 
This month concludes the Style Talk Series as we focus on the profile “C” – Conscientious characteristics. You may also like to review the first two parts of the series focusing on the profile "D"- Dominance, or focusing on the profile "I"- Influence.
 
As previously mentioned, in each article I am highlighting real-life clients who tend to illustrate a strong profile of just one of the DiSC behavioural traits. 
 
You will have different degrees of each behavioural style in your own profile but you tend to have a dominant style that many at your work will witness. How you behave compared to people with differing styles to you may be quite different, even when presented with the very same scenario. 

Meet Nadeem (not his real name)
Nadeem is an Accounting Advisory Executive with a leading professional services firm. Nadeem has traveled the world, offering advice on accounting and risk management for 15+ years and is considered a leader in this field.
 
Nadeem has led large, matrixed teams, working on highly complex projects with large multi national corporations providing advice and guidance on Accounting and Tax.

• Nadeem is known best for being accurate, precise, detail-oriented, and highly conscientious. He is very analytic and operates systematically, making decisions carefully with plenty of research and information to back it up.

 

• He has high exacting standards for both himself and others. His focus on detail enables him to see what many other people overlook; he is a great problem solver because he draws upon creative solutions based on many years of experience.

 

• As a team member Nadeem brings unique perspective and acts as the "anchor of reality". When something is proposed, Nadeem will think through every detail. He makes realistic estimates and will openly voice the problems he may see.

 

• Nadeem is very meticulous and even tempered. He is committed to seeing tasks fully completed. He takes great pride in doing work accurately and is the ‘go to’ person to analyze, research, or test information.

 

• He has excelled in the consulting environment, avoiding politics by remaining focused on the work. He is highly independent and works well in this specialized field where tasks are clear, detailed and requires following procedure to meet deadlines. He is counted on to deliver.

 

• Nadeem, as a leader is instructive; he is factual as well as supportive, setting high expectations for his team. He gives direct feedback, in fact, he doesn’t hold back. Typically he relies on facts and data vs commentary and feelings to describe performance. To some, this is harsh.

 

• As a result, Nadeem can be perceived as cold or uncaring. It is perceived he overlooks social cues when communicating in person thus being unaware of peoples' reaction. He gets down to business quickly, without taking much time to make a personal connection in most interactions. 

 

• His heavy reliance on detail makes it awkward for him to see a broader perspective in the firm. When he finds problems or perceives a risk, he will avoid decisions which can slow down projects or initiatives he leads.

 

• Nadeem is an instinctive organizer, he can create and maintain systems very well. His drive for consistency, logic, and accuracy helps him cut through political barriers and other 'noise' that otherwise could derail colleagues. He always can be counted on to ask important questions that emphasize quality and/or logic, and will seek a diplomatic approach and consensus within groups.

 

• From a development perspective, Nadeem aspires to make Partner in the firm. He has been told he will need to focus on doing the right things and not just doing things right. Nadeem needs to be more open and accepting to others' ideas and methods. As well as organize his team to contribute to goals, not just do them on his own or by allocating task work.

 

• Building relationships is a critical skill to move up in the firm and for him to be taken seriously for more senior level leadership. This requires more concentration for Nadeem on people development; making it deliberate to work with other people rather than working on his own.

 

• Nadeem has received feedback that he is aloof and may see himself as 'better than others'.  This is not the first he has received this insight but he struggles with creating personal connection with people at work.

 
We have identified for Nadeem that he needs to pick up on social cues and demonstrate interest in others. This includes taking a brief time in the first part meetings to greet people and chat for a moment, assess his audience then communicate in a way the other party feels valued.
 
Nadeems’s development plan includes coaching on relationship building. Some areas include meeting preparation; helping him to assess the people he will meet so he is more prepared to make the right first impression. Also we are doing DiSC assessments with each of his direct team to help him decode their styles. Lastly he is working with an internal mentor who has the exact opposite style to his so they can learn to appreciate their differences. In future this will arm him for analyzing people and provide a roadmap for flexing his communication style accordingly.
 
Do you know anyone like Nadeem?  Or can you see yourself in his profile? He is a good representative of a strong “C” behavioural style.
 
Can you imagine how it may benefit to you to better understand your own DiSC style and how your style may impact others?  
 
Once you see how your style affects people you work with, you can adapt accordingly.
 
Likewise as you leverage team dynamics using DiSC assessment, you can find ways to pair people for the best outcomes as well as anticipate where friction may occur.
 
Do you want your own DiSC Assessment?
Email me to reveal the secrets of success.  Everything DiSC Workplace® assessment is a great tool to use with your whole team. This assessment will decode how best to communicate for your own success. It makes a great foundational piece for business planning, improving employee engagement and team development.
 
Not only will you receive a detailed report but I will also provide a confidential debrief that delves into your personal profile and/or team dynamic. Drop me a line when you’re ready to learn more about yourself and discuss potential career/leadership derailers so you know how to head them off!

Last month we focused on the letter “I” – Influence of the DiSC behavioural style and previously we focused on the “D”.
 
This month we will continue the Style Talk Series focusing on the profile “S” – Steadiness behaviours and communication characteristics.
 
As I mentioned before, the clients I highlight tend to be symbolic of a strong profile of just one of the DiSC behavioural dimensions, this month using the “S”. 
 
In your own DiSC profile you will have differing degrees of each behavioural style. That said, people at work likely have observed your most predominant one because when you are under pressure your most dominant style usually shows up.
 
There is no perfect style, no right or wrong either; just like people are from different backgrounds, we each view a situation and react uniquely because we are approaching it from a different vantage point. This series is to help introduce the benefits of understanding your style.
 
Meet Melissa (not her real name)
Melissa is a Senior level Human Resource Business Partner for a global financial institution. Melissa has been in HR (different departments) for most of her 20+ career.
 
She currently supports over 40 executives (various levels) who collectively have over 2000 employees. Her day-to-day work is strategic, focused on providing business executives’ HR advice, shaping and implementing strategic plans. Melissa is keen to be promoted to VP level.

• Melissa is known for being even-tempered, reliable, and predictable. She views the world positively. She is very friendly, sympathetic with others, and very generous of her time. She is recognized for being understanding and a great listener.

 

• As a team member Melissa is the ‘harmony keeper’. She is the one everyone talks to about his or her troubles. She strives for consensus and will work to reconcile any conflicts should they arise.

 

• Melissa tends to be a rule follower; she is highly respectful of authority and a loyal team player. She works best when there is respect for procedure and continuity in process.

 

• She is doggedly determined to see tasks through to the end and she will juggle many tasks and take on quite a bit but always complete her work. A very dependable partner.

 

• Melissa can be perceived as a bit shy until she gets to know you, she doesn’t dominate discussion and is quick to fall back and let those around do most of the talking. She genuinely enjoys people, but prefers to open up with individuals and groups that she trusts and feels most comfortable to be around.

 

• She has flourished in work environments that have consistent protocols in place and are low on conflict. She is able to help guide others through tumult and change quite effortlessly but withdraws if conflict is directed at her or if there is indecisive leadership.

 

• Melissa has a natural ability to create process and procedure and prefers to ensure everyone follows accordingly, becoming frustrated with people who skip steps or miss important detail. She is methodical in her approach to work and seldom misses a thing.

 

• As a leader Melissa is supportive, generous with praise, helpful and clear about what needs to be done and how.  Her team can count on her; she doesn’t flip flop and always stays the course.

 

• She can become perturbed if there are multiple changes in direction and struggles communicating to her team during these high stress periods until she has had a chance to review and understand. This can appear to be slow to respond to the team.

 

• Melissa can become quiet and defensive when working with someone who enjoys conflict and debate. She prefers to avoid confrontation and will, in some cases, back down from her opinion or side-step a heated discussion.

 

• From a development perspective, to move up to a more senior level, Melissa has to become more comfortable with change and the ambiguity it will inevitably bring. She can make a best guess decision without every bit of data to ensure work continues to flow drawing on her tremendous amount of experience. She would do well to surround herself with others she trusts who will help her assess more quickly.

 

• She has a perfectionistic tendency that causes her to work longer hours than necessary; she needs to embrace the art of delegation and leveraging others strengths vs taking it on.

 

• Melissa has received feedback that she may be mistaken for meek, giving others to believe she is a push over who will relent and agree when hard-pressed. She is actively working on changing this perception.

 
We have identified that for Melissa to move up, she needs to command more authority. Colleagues, leadership and clients enjoy working with her but to be ready for the next move she has to prove she can manage conflict directly and comfortably. 
 
Showing she can stand her ground and be more direct in her communications will give senior leaders more confidence in her capabilities at the next level.
 
Melissa’s development plan includes coaching courageous confrontation, role-playing in a safe environment using real-life scenarios and critiquing conversations.  Through routine practice she will develop comfort in finding her voice, without sacrificing her strong values for harmony.
 
Do you know anyone like Melissa? Or can you see yourself in her profile? She is a good representative of a strong “S” behavioural DiSC style.
 
Imagine the benefit to you to better understand your own DiSC style and how you impact other people?  
 
Once you see how your style affects people you work with, you can modify appropriately.
 
Likewise when your team uses DiSC assessment as a development tool, you will better understand the dynamic of everyone within the team.  Some people may be a lot like you when others are not, you will see how to get the best out of everyone when you learn how to communicate to their style.
 
Time for your own DiSC Assessment?
Email me to reveal the secrets of success.  Everything DiSC Workplace® assessment is a great tool to use with your whole team. This assessment will decode how best to communicate for your own success. It makes a great foundational piece for business planning, improving employee engagement and team development.
 
Not only will you receive a detailed report but I will also provide a confidential debrief where we will into your personal profile and/or team dynamic. Drop me a line when you’re ready to learn more about yourself and discuss potential career/leadership de-railers so you know how to head them off!

Last month we focused on the letter “D” – Dominance of the DiSC behavioural styles.
 
This month we will continue the Style Talk Series focusing on the profile “I” for Influence behaviours and communication style.  I personally relate most with this dimension myself, though not quite to the same extreme as my client. 
 
As you will see, the client I am highlighting tends to be emblematic of a strong “I” profile which is just one of the DiSC behavioural traits. 
 
You will have varying degrees of each behavioural style in your own profile but we all have our ‘go to’ dominant style that others tend to see, particularly under stress. Two people may react quite differently when presented with the same situation, depending on their dominant behavioural style.
 
Meet Daniel (not his real name)
Daniel is a Senior Vice President for a national Sales organization that employs 4000+ people across Canada. Daniel worked his way up to a senior level over 18 years of progressive moves.
 
He joined the company directly from University, when he began as an intern in Customer Operations gathering customer information from clients to prepare for year 2000 cut over.

• Daniel has always been seen as outgoing and a people person. Long before he led people he was seen as enthusiastic team member who connected quickly with the customer. He naturally developed relationships and was easily liked.

​

• Daniel is an innovative, out-of-the-box thinker, always seeking creative solutions to issues. He learns faster than most – a ‘quick-study’. He is skilled at garnering interest in just about everything, he engages people smoothly and effectively.

 

• He creates a positive, motivated work environment filled with enthusiasm and low on conflict. Most people love to work with Daniel because he is so charismatic, upbeat and optimistic, even when there is a lot of change.

 

• As a leader, Daniel is highly collaborative and he trusts his team to deliver. He is quick to delegate and leave important matters with his team, almost to a fault. Sometimes they are not fully equipped to handle the issues.

 

• Daniel avoids detail, he tends to focus on the plus side of information and not go too deep into specifics.

 

• He is a sought after speaker on several topics he is passionate about. He reads an audience quickly, assessing what they need to know, making quick adjustment to ensure the information connects. Daniel can make even the most complex information easy for anyone to understand.

 

• He tends to move from one thought to another swiftly, sometimes frustratingly so.  People around him don’t find it quite as easy to change topics. When others are looking for data and facts he can exasperate them by glossing over the specifics.

 

• Daniel also uses time in meetings to socialize, talking about unrelated topics. As a result, he can be seen as long-winded. This aggravates those who want him to stick to the facts, get to the point and avoid personal discussion.

 

• Over the years Daniel has worked best with managers who gave him plenty of opportunity to share and implement his recommendations. He has many helpful ideas and enjoys discussing them and gaining support. To his manager’s credit she would often pair him with others to develop detailed implementation plans leaving Daniel out front to pave the way with stakeholders.

 

• Not surprisingly, managers who rejected his input or shutdown ideas in meetings were the ones he didn’t have a great relationship with.  When he was a mid level leader in Customer Operations, his manager would often nag for routine reports and constantly follow up as if he was a poor performer – he says that was the worst year in his career.

 

• Daniel didn’t set out to work in Sales, he didn’t see himself as a ‘salesperson’, more like a fixer. However he soon learned that solving customer issues through the selling the right product was very rewarding; leading others to do the same was a great fit.

 

• From a development perspective Daniel has had to learn to resist being impulsive in decision-making and to take time to listen to others who did the research. He is working on slowing down his speech and stream of thoughts to give others time to absorb and allow them to question him.

 

• He received feedback that he is perceived as a poor listener. This was a surprise and blindsided him as he genuinely cares for his team. He is working on active listening techniques to ensure he improves this perception. Additionally he is working on time management, using strategies from the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey.

 
For Daniel to continue to move up in the organization he must take more time to consider data and facts; use solid supporting evidence to help formulate decisions, and incorporate facts into his narrative.
 
He is seen as a promotable resource for the business, he may be considered for President or CEO of a smaller division in the future.
 
Daniel’s development plan includes an executive coach (external) as well as internal mentorship from the CFO, who is giving him guidance and support to develop data-driven decision making.
 
Do you know anyone like Daniel?  Or do you see yourself in his profile? He is a good representative of a strong “I” behavioural style.
 
Can you imagine the benefit to better understand your own DiSC style and how you may impact others?  
 
Once you grasp how your style affects people you work with, you adapt accordingly. Likewise as you build a team, you can better understand the dynamic of everyone within the team.  Some may strike sparks with you, yet they bring tremendous benefit overall when you learn how to communicate to their style.
 
Time for Your Own DiSC Assessment?
Email me to take advantage of the insightful perspective of Everything DiSC Workplace®
assessment or to arrange a session with your whole team. This assessment will decode how best to communicate for your own success.
 
Not only will you receive a detailed report but I will also provide a confidential debrief where we will delve into your personal profile and/or team dynamic. Drop me a note when you’re ready to learn more about yourself and discuss potential career/leadership de-railers so you know how to head them off!

Ever work with someone whose style drove you crazy? Perhaps they talked too slow or fast for you, were overly demanding or passive, very logical or maybe they talked so much about feelings and relationships to the point it made it difficult to get down to business? The list of bugaboos varies because what bugs one person, may not bother another to the same degree.

We are all made up of a unique combination of behaviours that show up as our style to others. So when you work with someone whose blend is quite different to yours, they will likely hit a nerve if you're not well armed. 

Assess for Your Own ‘Ah Ha!’ Moment
One way to ease this kind of discord is to conduct an assessment that decodes both you and your team’s behavioural styles. 

My tool of choice is a DiSC® model behavioural assessment tool – Everything DiSC®Workplace by Wiley Brand.  It is simple, yet uncovers ‘pinch points’ quickly with leaders and/or their teams so they can immediately adjust. This tool works for building better cohesion in a team, improving communication, reducing tensions, but also offers self-awareness for leaders I coach, most of whom have a few ‘ah ha’ moments as a result!

Over the next series of blogs I will highlight each one of the four dimensions of DiSC® characterized by people I’ve worked with (names changed, of course). 

DiSC®Background
Harvard psychologist Dr. William Moulton Marston created the theory of DISC® in the 1920’s, illustrating that people exhibited emotions through four ‘Normal’ behaviours of Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness, or Compliance – aka DISC® In the 1950’s an industrial psychologist named Walter Clarke went on to create the first assessment using the DISC behaviours Marston founded. Over the years the assessment has been improved and updated but the principles remain the same. Today we use the terms: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientious in the assessment.

First I will start with a profile of the “D” – Dominance.

Meet Belinda (not her real name)
Belinda is a Vice President in a Customer Service group (Canada) of a large multi national company. She moved up through the ranks fairly fast. Here are some of her traits and behaviours that demonstrate a strong “D” profile:

• Belinda is known as a leader who takes charge and for some she is seen as aggressive and rather pushy.  To others she is the ‘go-to’ for getting some of the most difficult issues resolved, counted on to deliver time and again.
• She makes decisions quickly and decisively. She has been acknowledged for a long list of accomplishments. Her expectations of people are to act rather than study or ponder options, often asking why things aren’t done yet. She can push others quite hard, seemingly unaware of their needs, yet quick to delegate to those who are keen.  
• People who share her interest in accomplishment do well working with her. Anyone working with her can expect her to be very direct; they always know where they stand, it is no secret with Belinda. 
• She is outcome focused and sees the bigger picture rather than all the details it will take to get something done. In any customer-related crisis, Belinda knows exactly what to do.  She is able to provide her people context for how what they do will affect the customer and the overall business.
• Depending on the person she reports to she may nudge (shove, go around or annoy) them to pull rank and push others in other groups to get things done if she isn’t seeing results fast enough. She worked best with leaders who gave her high autonomy yet would become highly frustrated with bosses who questioned or blocked her ideas.
• Belinda always has goals and is determined to become the Country General Manager.
• From a development perspective she’s been told that people perceive her as a poor listener and a bully.  She knows she pushes people but that is what she thinks it takes to make work happen. She knows the steps to listen more actively, though finds it is a challenge, as she just wants to get things done. She is working on consensus building with others affected by her decisions. 
• She also received feedback that her tone and body language show displeasure when she is frustrated.  She has difficulty holding back her views on most subjects.

Do you know someone like Belinda?  Or can you see a little of yourself in her profile?  She is a good representative of a strong “D” behavioural style.  Most of us have behavioural styles with varying degrees of each of the 4 DiSC® dimensions so certain circumstances may bring your “D” more to the forefront.  

For Belinda to be considered for future, more senior level roles she must make an effort to develop work relationships by recognizing the opinions, feelings and ideas from others. Taking time to get to know people versus putting them to work.

Without some coaching, guidance and support from others, Belinda’s trajectory in a large multinational company will surely be hampered. Much of her advancement will depend on whom she reports to and whether she reigns in her power punches!

Can you see the benefit to you to better understand your own DiSC® style and how you may impact others?  

Get Your DiSC® Assessment!
Email or call me to take advantage of the eye-opening perspective of Everything DiSC® Workplace assessment or to arrange a session with your whole team. This assessment will surely provide a clearer understanding of how you affect others and decode how best to communicate for your own success.

Not only will you receive a detailed report but I will also provide a confidential debrief where we will delve into your personal profile and/or team dynamic. Call or email me when you’re ready to learn more about yourself and discuss potential career/leadership de-railers so you know how to head them off!

One of the most frustrating and time-consuming aspects of every manager’s role is dealing with a difficult person on their team. But getting good at managing the most challenging employee can be well worth the time and effort invested, even if it doesn’t seem it at the time. Not only will you demonstrate top-notch leadership skills to ‘the powers that be’, but you’ll also be role modelling for those you are developing to be a leader – which looks great on you!
 
There are all kinds of difficult people to manage or to work with: the know-it-all’s, passive-aggressive’s, quiet sulker’s, loud mouths, pity partier’s etc.  And while you can develop specific strategies for managing each type, I have found there are a few general approaches for dealing with ANY difficult person that are often successful:
 
1.  Understand Your Own Type
I know what you’re thinking…’Hey, I’m not the one who is difficult, so why start with me?’  Well, that is because when you understand yourself, you can better strategize how to flex your style to effectively communicate with others. It also helps you recognize why some people drive you to the brink and press your buttons more than others. There are many assessment tools that can be used to develop a greater understanding of your own personality type and how you affect others.  DISC, Kolbe and Myers Briggs are quite common and a good place to start; it doesn’t matter which tool you use as long as you do the homework on self-discovery.  
 
2.  Understand Each Of Your Team Member’s Type
Unsurprisingly, I also recommend understanding the personality type of each of your team – not just the difficult one!  Teams are like living organisms; they have reliance and dependency on one other. People get along much better when they learn to appreciate the nuances and differences of each other. Personality assessments provide a non-threatening, consistent language that facilitates the breaking down of communication barriers.
 
3.  Be CANDID!
This is not for the faint of heart. Being clear and candid with a difficult person is not easy for most people, yet it is the single most important first step in managing the situation.  Regardless of the different types of ‘difficult people’, when you can articulate the issue head on, you’ll make better progress.  Help them to understand how their behaviour is impacting the office, the team or any key stakeholders.  Good ol’ Dr. Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge", and that holds true here too.  You have to call out what the problem is, particularly when it is causing trouble with others.  The way to do this is by clarifying the effect the person’s behaviour is having on others without judgement and blame.
 
A great reference for how to frame these conversations is a book called Crucial Confrontations. Just as the title implies, confronting is crucial! Regardless of how awkward the situation, when you deal with it with compassion and the right intentions, you can work with the person to find solutions.
 
4.  Look For An Underlying Issue
I’m not saying you should give them an excuse for their ‘difficultness’, but you may find that something may be at the root of their behaviour issues and knowing this will give you a clue for how to manage it.
 
I once worked with a man who, when heard on the phone with his wife, was clearly in a dictatorial relationship – he was a doormat at home, but a tyrant at the office! Once we realized that he had a need to feel in control because he had zero control outside of work, we were able to adapt how we dealt with issues to give him some measure of power within his work.  Very quickly, he stopped battling everyone else. 
 
Simply put, if you can spot the underlying issue, you can adapt your response.  It takes a little thoughtfulness, but it absolutely works.
 
5.  Tap Into Empathy
Sometimes you have to walk in someone else’s shoes to understand where they are coming from.  Try to put yourself in their situation to understand their point of view before jumping to conclusions. Did you know CCL research shows that, “Managers who show more empathy toward direct reports are viewed as better performers in their job by their bosses.”
 
In today’s social media rich world we are terribly quick to label a difficult person and criticize before taking time to understand who they are and how they view life.  In the workplace, it is a big win when you can find the bridge into their way of thinking – you can then help by making a connection and break down the issues.
 
6.  Accept 100% Responsibility For Your Response
I often say, no one can make you FEEL anything – how you choose to respond to any tough situation is all up to you.  The fact that someone is driving you crazy is a direct reflection of how you are responding to somebody else’s ways.  This is completely within your control. This is a tremendously liberating concept when you realize you have the ability to control your response. Brian Tracy - Free Your Mind: How You Are Responsible offers a great snapshot for just how to accomplish this!
 
When it gets really tough dealing with a difficult person and you are about ready to give up or you’ve been trying to follow HR guidance and still not getting at the heart of the matter, give Dots Leadership Solutions a call – we have a kit bag of approaches that have worked very effectively.  We also have some great assessment tools and can be available to plan for or facilitate discussions if you need an objective third party!