Thanks for returning to my series about difficult people – I'll be interested to hear what do you think, so far? Do you see how difficult people can be a competitive advantage for your team?  Let me know in the comments below.
 
To recap part one of this series I began with “The Know All” (TKA) personality type, you surely know someone who embodies those traits. For part two I spoke about “The Revolutionary (aka TNT) type” who are seldom satisfied with the status quo.
 
For part three I will shed light on the all too familiar, yet quite challenging, difficult ‘Take No Prisoners’ (TNP) personality type.
 
Consider ‘the Donald’ reporting to a leader in a business setting. Yes, that is this rebel style.  What do you think, difficult to manage? Oh my, heck yeah! A true leadership test.
 
You may be surprised to know there ARE ways to harness the power of this rebellious in-yo-face type when they report to you (not so easy to when they are running a country).  When you guide them the right way, you create a powerhouse talent on your team and even better, leave a lasting positive impact in your company.
 
Meet Liam – The Gun-Slinger
Liam (names changed) is an up-and-coming, newly promoted executive in telecommunications. He is 33 years old and incredibly clever. So much so he has been promoted rather quickly. Over a 5-year period he has moved up three times (unusually fast) and is now at the Director level with eyes locked and loaded for a Vice President’s seat. He has been told he has “CEO potential”, which is amazing BUT he tends to share that info with others in an obnoxious ‘boasty’ sort of way.
 
Highly strategic and a quick study, he has demonstrated value in every role very quickly. Liam is highly action-oriented, capable to make change and adapt rapidly. Managers who promoted him looked past some of his behavioural shortcomings for political reasons - because the top bosses really like his boldness. Leaders fanned his fiery flames, instead of providing candid feedback and guidance, for fear they may be seen as a roadblock to his rise up the ladder.
 
When his newest manager Claire, VP Ops (seriously, not her real name or title) reached out for my help, she told me she inherited ‘a blow-hard, pompous, egotistical jerk.’  Claire was ultra motivated to find 'something' to hit home with him before everyone quit on her team. When we started, she was at her whit’s end.
 
Liam is the quintessential Take No Prisoners (aka TNP) profile.
 
The Take No Prisoners profile: 

• Intimidating
• Very confident in their own abilities
• They view themselves as special
• Disagree with anyone who doesn’t agree with them
• Appear aggressive, belligerent, insubordinate, rude and even malicious
• Not self aware
• Clever, always ready to win
• They surround themselves with people they trust who value their boldness
• They lash out at anyone who they feel threatened by

 
The benefit of having a TNP on your team – quick decision makers, they assess risk swiftly, are very determined, action oriented, inventive, shrewd and persistent.
 
The key to leading a TNP is trust and mutual respect. Set high expectations regarding their behaviour; hold a mirror up to see results of their approach; be liberal with praise at the right times. Listen to their ideas, positively reinforce relationship building, and be candid with feedback that will benefit them with very firm correction if they appear to burn a bridge – they appreciate that directness.
 
Caution for leading a TNP – they require a firm leader whom they respect or they will undermine your efforts. Do not do battle with them as they are very clever, set clear boundaries early on, then hold them to those.
 
The Outcome

My approach was to have her build a real genuine connection and be very firm with expectations.

Claire began to develop two-way trust with Liam:

• Asked questions about him, his family, his background and how he sees himself. Began to get him to open up about areas he wanted to focus on. She shared her journey to VP candidly, opening about mis-steps she made thus making connection to his own story and aspirations.

She set high expectations:

• Demonstrating her support to helping him to prepare for next level leadership by reinforcing the most critical leadership skills to cultivate – self-awareness, empathy and supportiveness to others (despite levels).

She showed support through her own actions:

• Made time to listen to the challenges he experienced, then through questioning techniques vs telling, she caused him to reflect on situations. (How did your conversation with X go; What could you have said differently to build a bridge with them; Do you think they heard your message).

And encouraged his self reflection:

• We did an Everything DiSC Workplace® assessment with him – no surprise he was a ‘D’ Dominant style. I provided a confidential debrief with him of his assessment and gained further insight for how I may help Claire to connect with him (She is an ‘I’ Influencer). I validated what he was willing to share with her.
• They plan to do a few other activities in future because he professed and acknowledges some blind spots (huge progress right there).

We are well on our way with Liam. Thankfully he is smart enough to know that when other people truly want to help him succeed, they are worth listening to.

I hope to become an executive coach to him one day and if I do, I won’t pull any punches. He needs direct feedback to help him succeed; learn how to flex his style yet capitalize on what makes him a powerhouse in business.

Could people perceive YOU to be like Liam? Or do you know anyone with this style?
 
Help is Available
For every difficult type of person there is a way of connecting to the jewel that may be under a rough exterior. It can take a bit of work on your behalf but having distinctly different personalities on your team can become a strong competitive edge as well as a leadership legacy.
 
If you are suffering with a difficult person on your team (or your boss) and you’d like help to figure out how to communicate better with them, send me an email.   There are numerous ways to connect!
 
If you aren’t on my mailing list, you’re missing out on other juicy tidbits to become an effective leader. It is never too late to sign up! I have sign up links all over my site, for your convenience. 🙂

Ever work with someone whose style drove you crazy? Perhaps they talked too slow or fast for you, were overly demanding or passive, very logical or maybe they talked so much about feelings and relationships to the point it made it difficult to get down to business? The list of bugaboos varies because what bugs one person, may not bother another to the same degree.

We are all made up of a unique combination of behaviours that show up as our style to others. So when you work with someone whose blend is quite different to yours, they will likely hit a nerve if you're not well armed. 

Assess for Your Own ‘Ah Ha!’ Moment
One way to ease this kind of discord is to conduct an assessment that decodes both you and your team’s behavioural styles. 

My tool of choice is a DiSC® model behavioural assessment tool – Everything DiSC®Workplace by Wiley Brand.  It is simple, yet uncovers ‘pinch points’ quickly with leaders and/or their teams so they can immediately adjust. This tool works for building better cohesion in a team, improving communication, reducing tensions, but also offers self-awareness for leaders I coach, most of whom have a few ‘ah ha’ moments as a result!

Over the next series of blogs I will highlight each one of the four dimensions of DiSC® characterized by people I’ve worked with (names changed, of course). 

DiSC®Background
Harvard psychologist Dr. William Moulton Marston created the theory of DISC® in the 1920’s, illustrating that people exhibited emotions through four ‘Normal’ behaviours of Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness, or Compliance – aka DISC® In the 1950’s an industrial psychologist named Walter Clarke went on to create the first assessment using the DISC behaviours Marston founded. Over the years the assessment has been improved and updated but the principles remain the same. Today we use the terms: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientious in the assessment.

First I will start with a profile of the “D” – Dominance.

Meet Belinda (not her real name)
Belinda is a Vice President in a Customer Service group (Canada) of a large multi national company. She moved up through the ranks fairly fast. Here are some of her traits and behaviours that demonstrate a strong “D” profile:

• Belinda is known as a leader who takes charge and for some she is seen as aggressive and rather pushy.  To others she is the ‘go-to’ for getting some of the most difficult issues resolved, counted on to deliver time and again.
• She makes decisions quickly and decisively. She has been acknowledged for a long list of accomplishments. Her expectations of people are to act rather than study or ponder options, often asking why things aren’t done yet. She can push others quite hard, seemingly unaware of their needs, yet quick to delegate to those who are keen.  
• People who share her interest in accomplishment do well working with her. Anyone working with her can expect her to be very direct; they always know where they stand, it is no secret with Belinda. 
• She is outcome focused and sees the bigger picture rather than all the details it will take to get something done. In any customer-related crisis, Belinda knows exactly what to do.  She is able to provide her people context for how what they do will affect the customer and the overall business.
• Depending on the person she reports to she may nudge (shove, go around or annoy) them to pull rank and push others in other groups to get things done if she isn’t seeing results fast enough. She worked best with leaders who gave her high autonomy yet would become highly frustrated with bosses who questioned or blocked her ideas.
• Belinda always has goals and is determined to become the Country General Manager.
• From a development perspective she’s been told that people perceive her as a poor listener and a bully.  She knows she pushes people but that is what she thinks it takes to make work happen. She knows the steps to listen more actively, though finds it is a challenge, as she just wants to get things done. She is working on consensus building with others affected by her decisions. 
• She also received feedback that her tone and body language show displeasure when she is frustrated.  She has difficulty holding back her views on most subjects.

Do you know someone like Belinda?  Or can you see a little of yourself in her profile?  She is a good representative of a strong “D” behavioural style.  Most of us have behavioural styles with varying degrees of each of the 4 DiSC® dimensions so certain circumstances may bring your “D” more to the forefront.  

For Belinda to be considered for future, more senior level roles she must make an effort to develop work relationships by recognizing the opinions, feelings and ideas from others. Taking time to get to know people versus putting them to work.

Without some coaching, guidance and support from others, Belinda’s trajectory in a large multinational company will surely be hampered. Much of her advancement will depend on whom she reports to and whether she reigns in her power punches!

Can you see the benefit to you to better understand your own DiSC® style and how you may impact others?  

Get Your DiSC® Assessment!
Email or call me to take advantage of the eye-opening perspective of Everything DiSC® Workplace assessment or to arrange a session with your whole team. This assessment will surely provide a clearer understanding of how you affect others and decode how best to communicate for your own success.

Not only will you receive a detailed report but I will also provide a confidential debrief where we will delve into your personal profile and/or team dynamic. Call or email me when you’re ready to learn more about yourself and discuss potential career/leadership de-railers so you know how to head them off!