These days, with all the tools we have available, we are far more connected and capable of staying in touch than ever before!
 
So don’t you find it a bit ironic that in today’s workplaces, lack of communication remains one of the biggest issues for employees? Regardless of the industry or size of company!
 
Here’s the thing - if your team doesn’t feel heard, they don’t understand the direction of the company, never get constructive feedback, or they don’t think you care about them as a person, then why would they give you their best work?
 
Every one of those ‘misses’ can be remedied simply by taking steps to form a better connection with your team.
 
It’s More Than Words
Communication, when it does occur, may be missing the mark altogether! Between abbreviated texts and messaging, overwhelming volume of email or the ever brief, on-the-fly meetings these days, communication and connection is deteriorating, especially at work.
 
To further complicate our ability to communicate is the fact that most of us hear (absorb) less than 10% of what is actually spoken!
 
According to the Mehrabian Theory we attribute more meaning of a message through body language, facial expression, tone and pace of the conversation than that of the actual words voiced – hence why texts, messages, email and even phone messages can be misconstrued!
 
So ask yourself - how likely is it that YOU are communicating most effectively for your message to be received the way you intend it?
 
Using the scenario below, I’ll demonstrate my 7-step method to build rapport so you can improve every interaction!
 
Scenario - Disconnected Team
Team members, who report to your managers, have told you they feel disconnected lately. They claim that most one-on-one meetings with their manager(s) are being cancelled, and when they do happen it’s a quick download of one-way directives of what to get done, versus real conversation.
 
As a result, they feel excluded in the overall success of the department and don’t see the opportunity to learn, grow or develop. You sense a few are looking to leave the group or worse, the company.
 
You believe manager’s (on your team) need to involve their teams in problem solving vs giving orders and begin having development-focused one-on-one’s with each person (at all levels), at least once a quarter to rebuild a positive workplace.
 
What Not to Do
Even though it may seem the quickest ways, please don’t just call a meeting of your direct reports to tell them to start having one on one meetings focusing on development.
 
Just like their team members, they too will tune out being given a directive and may even take it out on their teams for speaking up, further complicating the problem.
 
7 Step Method For Communicating To Connect
While these steps may seem lengthy, it actually takes only a couple of minutes to practice and tailor to your circumstance.
 
Here are the steps:

1. Prepare
2. Create a safe environment
3. Lead with open-ended questions
4. Meet them ‘where they are at’, before diving in
5. Take time to make a personal connection
6. If delivering candid feedback be tough not mean
7. Be clear, direct and provide specifics

 
1. Prepare - consider your audience and check yourself. Think about what is important to you and why, and how might they view it?

• Ask yourself what is the manager’s preferred way to communicate? What is their communication style? Are they more fact-based than people focused? Do they react fast or slow? Are they more indirect or direct in their approach?
• Consider each managers communication needs before your discussion and tailor your approach to meet theirs (aka. flex your style)

 
2. Create a ‘safe’ environment – remember to praise in public, criticize in private

• Book individual meetings with your managers to deliver this particular message. Keeping it private ensures they can feel comfortable to discuss openly.

 
3. Lead with open-ended questions – question for clarity about their view of the situation and gather their input

• Use open-ended questions to create two-way dialogue i.e.) ‘What have you been you doing to engage your team in problem solving these days, given it has been so busy? How have you involved the team in developing solutions? How do you think it is going?’

 
4. Meet them ‘where they are at’, before diving in – use their viewpoint to build on. Putting yourself in their shoes shows you’ve heard them (it also demonstrates empathy)

• Listen carefully to HOW they answer your question, maintaining eye contact and matching your body language, tone and pace with theirs
• The key is to keep dialogue open, avoiding a closed posture that may create tension or defensiveness
• Respond based on their response, build on THEIR perspective not yours

 
5. Take time to establish a personal connection – consider the challenges they speak about and build rapport by showing you understand how they feel, validate their perspective (this is not a feedback sandwich)

• ‘[Insert Manager’s name] I can see you’ve had a lot on the go and I’ve seen you putting in very long hours. How do you think we can ensure everyone is getting feedback and meaningful work for their growth and development?’

 
6. When delivering candid feedback, be tough, not mean – show that you genuinely care about them as a person and expect a change to occur

• ‘I’ve heard from several team members that one on ones keep being canceled because you’re so busy. Unfortunately the perception is that they are not important and they are not receiving feedback to grow. I know that is not your intent’
• ‘What help do you need to change that?’

 
7. Be clear, direct and provide specifics

• ‘Starting next month I’d like you to meet with each team member, at least once each quarter, with the primary focus for their development’
• ‘I expect you to prioritize one on one meetings to remain connected to your team, even if they are just half an hour or occur every two weeks
• ‘I will commit to the same meetings with you so you can let me know how I can help’

 
Remember: Its All About Them
The same steps will work for any topic, particularly powerful for sensitive issues; the key is paying close attention, hearing their perspective, demonstrating you want their success and being clear about the outcomes that are needed.
 
Communication serves as the foundation for a positive employee experience for all of us. As a leader when you demonstrate support both through your words AND non-verbal interaction, your team will feel more valued and heard.
 
Taking time to get to know others and developing an understanding of their communication styles provides a platform to connect on a more personal level. This also creates stronger, more cohesive working relationships where difficult subjects can be discussed and dealt with efficiently.
 
Help Is Available
To gather insights on your team’s communication styles there are a variety of tools available (ie assessments, questioning techniques) feel free to reach out if you need help to find the right approach to connect and communicate in your workplace.

Welcome back to our series ‘Building a Kick-Ass Team From the Ground Up’. In the first post Part One - The Start Up Phase we covered the initial phase of team formation. In this blog, we’re moving on to building the team’s identity, which is essential for establishing team norms so that everyone knows how the team operates.
 
In this phase you will be hands-on and sometimes directive.  This is a time for obtaining your new team’s commitment, setting well-defined expectations and clear objectives. This is also a critical time for you, as the leader, to demonstrate your commitment and follow through. Lets look at the key steps to founding your team with an identity each member can embrace. 
 
1. Crack the Ice
Right now you have a team of strangers together or they haven’t worked together with you, as yet. To get work done, they’ll first need a chance to connect on a different level; otherwise they’ll naturally be cautious and hesitant to get down to work.  You COULD throw them straight into the day-to-day work, but we’re talking about building kick-ass teams here – and kick-ass teams begin with a kick-ass culture. A better way to begin would be with a little bit of fun – laughter is the one of best ways to help people break down their walls.
 
There are plenty of team-building icebreaker games you can do to help warm up your group. Just be mindful that the icebreaker should properly underpin your objectives and be appropriate for the work environment. For example, I don’t recommend a game that involves hand-holding (i.e. like the one called Electric Current in the link) with engineers in a corporate workspace – they surely would be uncomfortable and resistant. 
 
One of my favourite icebreakers is storytelling. This involves getting everyone together in a room and having each participant share the following:

• Name
• Role (if not known by the team yet)
• Something about their last job (company/experience)
• A personal story including several elements such as: where they grew up, how many siblings they have, where they are in their birth order, their favourite childhood toy, their favourite decadent dessert, their happiest place to vacation, their most hated job etc.

 
As the leader of this icebreaker, it’s important to listen carefully and point out similarities or connections between team members (i.e. like how many people are a middle child). It’s also important to watch how comfortable each participant is. If anyone seems uncomfortable, try giving him or her a different question when they get stuck. If it’s a big group you can also break the team into smaller groups then have each group provide an overview of the fun highlights they learned.
 
To wrap up the icebreaker, make a summary statement about your team’s diverse backgrounds, different skill sets, similarities or the great potluck lunches you expect to have in the future!
 
The most important note is that YOU go first! You set the tone for participation. Make the exercise fun and memorable and be open and transparent. Enjoy this time to connect before you all get down to business.
 
2.  Set the Stage
Remember in Part One – The Start Up Phase when you did all that white boarding of your vision? Now’s the time to share it! 
 
Even if you went over your plans with each person, as you were onboarding, it’s still important to review your vision and communicate your expectations to the whole team. If you’re in a formal work environment, you may wish to create a slide presentation to walk through, otherwise use this list below to help guide your team meeting:

• Discuss the primary accountability of the team

• Review the long term/short term goals
• Talk about what problem(s) will need solving
• Walk through the timeframes, challenges, known issues and potential pitfalls
• Familiarize the group with the key stakeholders they will interface with
• Communicate what success looks like for this team
• Discuss how will you measure it
• Review the different roles on the team – you may want to share a high level accountability statement for each role

 
Kick Ass Action Step - Share Your Top 5 Personal Values
Take time to let your new team know about what you personally value and expect – these help to lay a foundation for the behaviour of the team. You can refer to this Core Values list to contemplate your top five. By conveying what you’re all about, you’ll be helping your team know more about who you are and what you do or don’t tolerate. 
 
3.  Assign the Mission
Just like in the Mission Impossible movies, each team member needs to know what they personally need to accomplish, what they will be held accountable for and who to go for approval or solving problems. This is a perfect time to share the job specs you developed in phase one, if you haven’t already.
 
Provide members of the team with their own job description and have him or her review their role considering the context you shared when you set the stage. Discuss their individual objectives to help meet the overall goals and ask them to begin thinking of their own development plan.  This is a good time to check in and see what help they may need to be successful, and to let them know how frequently you’ll be checking in with them moving forward. 
 
4. Establish Team Norms
You’ve likely worked in different teams with an assortment of distinct norms. Perhaps you’ve encountered one where the people were backstabbing and constantly late to meetings, or another where the people were supportive and eager to help each other succeed. I can guarantee you that the difference you experienced wasn’t the company; it was very much indicative of the behaviour of the leadership. 
 
Team norms are standards and operating principles that groups demonstrate and quickly become the internal culture of a team – the ‘how we do things around here’ you encounter. It is during the ‘building team identity’ step that you, as the leader, can set the tone for these norms, whether by design or by action. The way your team operates is a direct reflection of you.
 
Think about what your team can count on when working with you…

• What are the principles that you would want to guide your team’s action?
• How will people operate with one another?
• How will meetings be conducted?
• How will problems be solved?

 
With your guidance and direction in these areas, you can influence the culture of your team in a way that will not only have an immediate effect, but also a long term one. If you’d like to chat about developing a team charter that everyone will ‘sign up to’, let me know – I work with businesses to set principles that shape team norms.
 
Kick-Ass Action Step: Take a moment to list the norms YOU will personally uphold and commit to – i.e. responding to emails in a timely manner, remaining open to differences, working efficiently, following through on commitments, being on time etc. Then make those your MO!  Your actions will directly influence how the team culture is formed.
 
 
5.  Be Consistent
I recently read a great post on LinkedIn called No Consistency, No Success by Grant Cardone. In it, he acknowledges that consistency builds discipline and disciplined actions done consistently create success – both personally and professionally.
 
The fact is, the best leaders follow through. This builds trust, creates credibility, sets the tone with a team and forms the basis of a team’s identity. Follow my simple Kick Ass rule below to become a more consistent leader:
 
Kick-Ass Tip – a simple rule: 

• Say what you’re going to do
• Do what you say you’re going to do

​If you’re setting up your team identity or are struggling if its gone awry and want to talk strategy or simply design a killer team building session, contact Dots Leadership Solutions. We design kick-ass strategies to help leaders launch their teams successfully!
 
Watch for the next instalment in the series, Building a Kick-Ass Team From the Ground Up – Bust Through the Barriers, where we’ll talk about the high conflict stage of a team formation – this is where you’ll learn how to earn major leadership stripes!
 
We welcome your comments – let us know of your challenges or successes in building a kick-ass team.
 
 
 
 

​So your team has been restructured and the dust has only just settled. Now you’re supposed to go back to ‘business as usual’, but things feel far from normal. As the leader, you’re in a tough position, everyone on your team is turning to you for answers and clarity; what do you do?
 
Rest assured you’re not alone; heck, you can’t read a newspaper or hear a business report these days without learning about a company cutting back, laying off or reorganizing.  Just like you, there are hundreds of leaders trying to find their way to get back on track and rebuild the trust of the ‘survivors’.
 
Survivor Syndrome
Just like after a shipwreck on a desert island, the survivors are worn-out, tired, grumpy and scared.  At times they feel guilty they made it through the cuts, while friends did not, other times they wish they were gone too – these are all natural human reactions after riding through such a rough experience.  It is important to be mindful of these emotions as you move forward with your remaining team, in order to help you rebuild momentum and trust. It’s not going to be an easy process to get everyone back on track, but with a bit of patience and guidance, it will certainly be achievable.
 
To help you make some headway, we’ve created a handy-dandy Survivor Checklist to help you through these stormy times:

• Take Care of Yourself – ”In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, the oxygen mask will automatically appear. If you’re travelling with someone who requires assistance, please secure your mask first before assisting the other person”. Recognize this?  Simply put, you’re no good to anyone if you don’t look after yourself first. The best thing you can do is to try and remain calm and manage your own stress levels. Watch this YouTube video to ‘Learn how to Calm Down in 10 Seconds’ – it’s a simple, yet effective approach.  Some other strategies to cope with your emotions can be discussed with your Employee Assistance Provider (EAP) who will have plenty of resources for free to help you manage the sudden changes you’re experiencing. And don’t forget, it’s equally as important to focus on your health and wellbeing. Eat healthy, get plenty of sleep and exercise and avoid dependence on alcohol or other damaging habits.

• Gather Up Your Team & Talk (Frequently) – Do you remember the big blackout in August 2003? Most of Ontario and a chunk of the Eastern seaboard of North America had no electricity on one of the hottest days of the Summer.  As people finally found their way home, they gathered with neighbours and started BBQ’ing food before it spoiled – sometimes in the middle of the street with a crowd. They ended up laughing and sharing stories of how they managed to make it home after hours of walking, hitch-hiking or sharing rides with strangers.  It conjures up some really funny memories, doesn’t it? Hanging out together, helping each other, swapping stories and venting about what has happened is a healing exercise for people to begin to let go of the old ways. So remain visible, give your people permission to ‘let it out’ and let them share their anger, resentment and frustration.  There will be lots of questions and many you may not be able to answer right away but sharing and venting will allow you to move past the event and begin talking through next steps together.

• Actively Listen – While this may seem repetitive to the previous tip, it bears a separate action because it requires a special skill – active listening. This is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. It requires focus and attention, concentrating on what is being said. Typically, it also requires repeating or reading back what you’ve heard.  Record a list of raised questions or concerns to demonstrate you are listening and commit to letting your team know when you are able to answer or comment further.  And to avoid any further upset or disappointment, address rumours as soon as possible; water cooler talk can be very damaging to your team so the sooner you can address these statements, the better.

• Review the Workload – Take time to look at the workload of the team to determine if you need to shift accountabilities with fewer team members. Be careful not to over burden your high performers – the ‘go to’ people are quite vulnerable during downsizing. That said, those who are keen to move up might be ready for additional stretch assignments with greater responsibilities as a part of their development plans.

• Reset Expectations – Review team objectives and communicate any changes.  It’s important each team member understand the changes as it provides a certain level of comfort when they fully comprehend what is expected of them.

• Meet With Each Team Member Separately – Yes, it may look like overkill, however people can quickly see if you’re really supportive or just doing the obligatory team meeting thing.  Checking in with people privately after a big change helps you gauge where any issues might be (e.g. there could be conflict within the team or with new stakeholders). Ask them for feedback and look for ideas from within the team to solve issues, rather than trying to solve them all on your own.  Always make sure you keep the lines of communication open, as communicating is key to building buy-in for a positive future.

• Recognize, Thank & Appreciate – Don’t just use formal channels for recognition, find opportunities to thank your team members and demonstrate genuine appreciation. All people need to feel valued, and particularly when times are crazy. Share wins, acknowledge successes and encourage the team to do the same at team meetings; all of these spread positive feelings and provide your team with a supportive environment.

• Have Fun – It may not sound very ‘corporate’ but if you look back over your own career, the best times you had – regardless of how crazy – were when you were able to laugh with your colleagues.  I once had a wonderful boss who brought in Loretta Laroche videos and played them over lunch, just to hear everyone bust out laughing.  She knew that laughter was a way to break through the stress.  Click on Loretta Laroche to watch on YouTube.  Find ways to take light-hearted breaks together – go out for ice cream, host amusing contests or enjoy team pot lucks.  Ask your team to find fun things to do together, including you!

 
At the end of the day, just like those people on the island after the shipwreck, the team will come together and rebuild a whole new existence.  Together, you really will survive and you’ll have plenty of stories to share along the way.
 
Throw out a lifeline:   Phone a friend…dots!!
If you need help to get through the trying times, or you’re looking for strategies to build your team, contact us at Dots Leadership Solutions!  We have plenty of great tools and solutions to assist you. Learn more about our Specialties here.