Difficult People or Competitive Edge - Part One The Know All (TKA)

The Know All (TKA)

​Recently, a client (we’ll call her Yvonne) reached out to me for assistance with a ‘know-all’ on her team.  We had such great success improving their working relationship and camaraderie on the team that I decided to pass along some tips!  

Many business leaders I talk to grapple with rebels or difficult personality types. Difficult people can test your every-last-nerve, yet once you figure out how to curb their behaviour by communicating effectively, you may discover a competitive advantage on your team.

Over the next few blogs, I will give you tips on how to handle some of the most draining types of people:

• The Revolutionary (TNT) – constantly wants to change the status quo
• Take No Prisoners (TNP) – belligerent, lashes out at others when they don’t get their way
• The Constant Critic (TCC) – a close relative to TES, the seldom contented nitpicker

We will look at ways to communicate with each type, managing their difficult behaviours while leveraging what they bring to the team. 

First up is the case of Alan – The Know All (TKA)

Alan – The Know All (TKA)

Alan was an effervescent, spirited, high-energy team member, who was very smart. He drove people crazy with his need to be right all the time and his non-verbal, superior behaviour in meetings (like eye-rolling, arms crossed, dismissive noises).

Trouble was that most days Yvonne found herself doing damage control when people complained Alan was difficult to work with.  Alan spent all of their 1:1 meetings complaining about others who were unresponsive or uncooperative, inhibiting him from accomplishing his work and expecting Yvonne to set THEM right.

As a result, Yvonne found Alan to be a drain on her time and energy. Due to the culminating behaviour issues, Yvonne seriously questioned whether to keep him on the team despite the great work that Alan did.

After Yvonne filled me in on the many issues, it became obvious that Alan did not build rapport with others and his smug behaviour rubbed people the wrong way. So we set out a plan for Yvonne to begin providing Alan with meaningful and actionable feedback, immediately.

Alan fell into the TKA-The Know All profile:

The Know All profile (exhibits many of these traits)

• Need to be right; calls out others on errors and details
• Very intelligent; knowing more than most
• A SME (Subject Matter Expert) in their own right
• Makes others feel dumb
• Has difficulty creating rapport and relationships at work
• Facts are power
• Thirsts for information, avid reader/researcher
• Often takes centre stage, prone to lecture
• Wants to TELL everyone vs ask, listen, discuss or collaborate
• Attempts to control others rather than getting them onboard
• Low self control – can be given to anger, frustrate quickly
• High output, over achiever
• Suspicious of others

The key to leading a TKA is to gain trust by showing them you are ‘in their corner’ but challenging them directly on their behaviour so they can see the impact of their current approach.

• Provide candid, direct, factual feedback with specific actions they can take to help connect with others.  No "feedback sandwiches" here, as long as they know your motive is sincerely to help them, a TKA reacts best to direct and specific feedback and guidance.
• Take time to observe their interactions with others, then de-brief immediately giving specific examples and guidance to do differently or encourage when done right.
• Coach them on how to develop rapport and relationships, while toning down their need to be right. Help them see that relationship building is a missing piece for their overall success.
• Appreciate and capitalize on their intelligence by seeking their input and guidance when you know they will have valuable input, but manage them in meetings so they don't monopolize discussion.

Caution to leading a TKA – always have your facts and data in order, never threaten or corner. Pick your battles wisely; focus on behaviour that gets in their way of success vs. labeling the person as a problem.

The benefit to having a TKA on your team – this type of person has tons of relevant information to draw upon, they are hard workers, creative problem solvers, decisive, action-oriented, have high standards, are adaptive, and are highly productive.

The root of Alan’s problems was that he made others feel dumb or undervalued – the more he touted his smarts, the more others did not want to work with him. They resented his approach because he never took time to value their input, he didn't create a relationship, he would talk too fast, not ask questions and express how frustrated he was in a variety of verbal and non-verbal cues.

So What Happened?
Once Yvonne began providing more directive feedback, Alan started making positive changes in his approach.  Fortunately Alan knew Yvonne genuinely cared about his success and even though it was difficult to hear, he soon realized he came on too strong and decided to take her advice. 

In a few short weeks, Yvonne began to hear from others that Alan was less combative and appeared more team oriented and helpful. Yvonne is now less stressed and has improved her own skills for giving AND receiving feedback.

So Difficult People or Competitive Edge?
For every difficult type of person, there are ways to connect to capitalize on the strengths they bring while correcting undesirable behaviour. It can take a bit of work on your behalf but building and encouraging diverse perspectives can be a competitive edge for a high performing team! 

If you are tired of struggling to deal with a difficult person on your team (or even your boss) and you’d like to know how to better communicate with them, send me an email. I have many more strategies that work!

Do you know anyone similar to Alan? I'd be interested to hear what strategies work for you to manage their behaviour or if you have another difficult style you struggle with - please leave me a reply below!

Sign up for my blog updates (subscribe in the right-hand column) or bookmark the blog page. The next post one will feature: TNT – The Blow It Up Type – think of a ‘Mike Holmes’ like worker who sees many things that need fixing and thrives on change yet balks at routine work. 

Photo Credit @ergepic from Pexels Creative Commons CC0