Last month we focused on the letter “S” – Steadiness of the DiSC behavioural style.
 
This month concludes the Style Talk Series as we focus on the profile “C” – Conscientious characteristics. You may also like to review the first two parts of the series focusing on the profile "D"- Dominance, or focusing on the profile "I"- Influence.
 
As previously mentioned, in each article I am highlighting real-life clients who tend to illustrate a strong profile of just one of the DiSC behavioural traits. 
 
You will have different degrees of each behavioural style in your own profile but you tend to have a dominant style that many at your work will witness. How you behave compared to people with differing styles to you may be quite different, even when presented with the very same scenario. 

Last month we focused on the letter “I” – Influence of the DiSC behavioural style and previously we focused on the “D”.
 
This month we will continue the Style Talk Series focusing on the profile “S” – Steadiness behaviours and communication characteristics.
 
As I mentioned before, the clients I highlight tend to be symbolic of a strong profile of just one of the DiSC behavioural dimensions, this month using the “S”. 
 
In your own DiSC profile you will have differing degrees of each behavioural style. That said, people at work likely have observed your most predominant one because when you are under pressure your most dominant style usually shows up.
 
There is no perfect style, no right or wrong either; just like people are from different backgrounds, we each view a situation and react uniquely because we are approaching it from a different vantage point. This series is to help introduce the benefits of understanding your style.
 

Last month we focused on the letter “D” – Dominance of the DiSC behavioural styles.
 
This month we will continue the Style Talk Series focusing on the profile “I” for Influence behaviours and communication style.  I personally relate most with this dimension myself, though not quite to the same extreme as my client. 
 
As you will see, the client I am highlighting tends to be emblematic of a strong “I” profile which is just one of the DiSC behavioural traits. 
 
You will have varying degrees of each behavioural style in your own profile but we all have our ‘go to’ dominant style that others tend to see, particularly under stress. Two people may react quite differently when presented with the same situation, depending on their dominant behavioural style.

Ever work with someone whose style drove you crazy? Perhaps they talked too slow or fast for you, were overly demanding or passive, very logical or maybe they talked so much about feelings and relationships to the point it made it difficult to get down to business? The list of bugaboos vary because what bugs one person, may not bother another to the same degree.

We each have a unique combination of behaviours and priorities; they show up as our style to others. When you work with someone whose blend is quite different to yours, they will likely strike a nerve - when you're not well-armed to understand where they are coming from.

Assess for Your Own ‘Ah Ha!’ Moment
One way to ease this kind of discord is to conduct an assessment that decodes both you and your team’s behavioural styles. A tool to understand clear preferences and what they prioritize compared to you. 

My tool of choice is a DiSC® model behavioural assessment tool – Everything DiSC®Workplace by Wiley Brand.  It's simple, yet uncovers ‘pinch points’ quickly with leaders and/or their teams so they can adjust immediately. This tool works for building better cohesion in a team, improving communication, reducing tensions, but also offers self-awareness for leaders I coach, most of whom have a few ‘ah ha’ moments as a result!

Over the next series I highlight each one of the four dimensions of DiSC® characterized by people I’ve worked with (names changed, of course) quick links below:

• Disc Style 'I'
• DiSC Style 'S'
• DiSC Style 'C'

DiSC®Background
Harvard psychologist Dr. William Moulton Marston created the theory of DISC® in the 1920’s, illustrating that people exhibited emotions through four ‘Normal’ behaviours of Dominance, Inducement, Steadiness, or Compliance – aka DISC® In the 1950’s an industrial psychologist named Walter Clarke went on to create the first assessment using the DISC behaviours Marston founded. Over the years the assessment has been improved and updated but the principles remain the same. Today we use the terms: Dominance, Influence, Steadiness and Conscientious in the assessment.

First lets start with the profile of “D” – Dominance.

​These days, with all the tools we have available, we are far more connected and capable of staying in touch than ever before!
 
So don’t you find it a bit ironic that in today’s workplaces, lack of communication remains one of the biggest issues for employees? Regardless of the industry or size of company!
 
Here’s the thing - if your team doesn’t feel heard, they don’t understand the direction of the company, never get constructive feedback, or they don’t think you care about them as a person, then why would they give you their best work?

Thanks for returning to my series about difficult people – I'll be interested to hear what do you think, so far? Do you see how difficult people can be a competitive advantage for your team?  Let me know in the comments below.
 
To recap part one of this series I began with “The Know All” (TKA) personality type, you surely know someone who embodies those traits. For part two I spoke about “The Revolutionary (aka TNT) type” who are seldom satisfied with the status quo.
 
For part three I will shed light on the all too familiar, yet quite challenging, difficult ‘Take No Prisoners’ (TNP) personality type.
 
Consider ‘the Donald’ reporting to a leader in a business setting. Yes, that is this rebel style.  What do you think, difficult to manage? Oh my, heck yeah! A true leadership test.
 
You may be surprised to know there ARE ways to harness the power of this rebellious in-yo-face type when they report to you (not so easy to when they are running a country).  When you guide them the right way, you create a powerhouse talent on your team and even better, leave a lasting positive impact in your company.
 
Meet Liam – The Gun-Slinger
Liam (names changed) is an up-and-coming, newly promoted executive in telecommunications. He is 33 years old and incredibly clever. So much so he has been promoted rather quickly. Over a 5-year period he has moved up three times (unusually fast) and is now at the Director level with eyes locked and loaded for a Vice President’s seat. He has been told he has “CEO potential”, which is amazing BUT he tends to share that info with others in an obnoxious ‘boasty’ sort of way.
 
Highly strategic and a quick study, he has demonstrated value in every role very quickly. Liam is highly action-oriented, capable to make change and adapt rapidly. Managers who promoted him looked past some of his behavioural shortcomings for political reasons - because the top bosses really like his boldness. Leaders fanned his fiery flames, instead of providing candid feedback and guidance, for fear they may be seen as a roadblock to his rise up the ladder.
 
When his newest manager Claire, VP Ops (seriously, not her real name or title) reached out for my help, she told me she inherited ‘a blow-hard, pompous, egotistical jerk.’  Claire was ultra motivated to find 'something' to hit home with him before everyone quit on her team. When we started, she was at her whit’s end.
 
Liam is the quintessential Take No Prisoners (aka TNP) profile.
 
The Take No Prisoners profile: 

• Intimidating
• Very confident in their own abilities
• They view themselves as special
• Disagree with anyone who doesn’t agree with them
• Appear aggressive, belligerent, insubordinate, rude and even malicious
• Not self aware
• Clever, always ready to win
• They surround themselves with people they trust who value their boldness
• They lash out at anyone who they feel threatened by

 
The benefit of having a TNP on your team – quick decision makers, they assess risk swiftly, are very determined, action oriented, inventive, shrewd and persistent.
 
The key to leading a TNP is trust and mutual respect. Set high expectations regarding their behaviour; hold a mirror up to see results of their approach; be liberal with praise at the right times. Listen to their ideas, positively reinforce relationship building, and be candid with feedback that will benefit them with very firm correction if they appear to burn a bridge – they appreciate that directness.
 
Caution for leading a TNP – they require a firm leader whom they respect or they will undermine your efforts. Do not do battle with them as they are very clever, set clear boundaries early on, then hold them to those. 
 
The Outcome

My approach was to have her build a real genuine connection and be very firm with expectations and harness the positive side of his traits.

Claire began to develop two-way trust with Liam:

• Asked questions about him, his family, his background and how he sees himself. Began to get him to open up about areas he wanted to focus on. She shared her journey to VP candidly, opening about mis-steps she made thus making connection to his own story and aspirations.

She set high expectations:

• Demonstrating her support to helping him to prepare for next level leadership by reinforcing the most critical leadership skills to cultivate – self-awareness, empathy and supportiveness to others (despite levels).

She showed support through her own actions:

• Made time to listen to the challenges he experienced, then through questioning techniques vs telling, she caused him to reflect on situations. (How did your conversation with X go; What could you have said differently to build a bridge with them; Do you think they heard your message).

And encouraged his self reflection:

• We did an Everything DiSC Workplace® assessment with him – no surprise he was a ‘D’ Dominant style. I provided a confidential debrief with him of his assessment and gained further insight for how I may help Claire to connect with him (She is an ‘I’ Influencer). I validated what he was willing to share with her.
• They plan to do a few other activities in future because he professed and acknowledges some blind spots (huge progress right there).

We are well on our way with Liam. Thankfully he is smart enough to know that when other people truly want to help him succeed, they are worth listening to.

I hope to become an executive coach to him one day and if I do, I won’t pull any punches. He needs direct feedback to help him succeed; learn how to flex his style yet capitalize on what makes him a powerhouse in business.

Could people perceive YOU to be like Liam? Or do you know anyone with this style?
 
Help is Available
For every difficult type of person there is a way of connecting to the jewel that may be under a rough exterior. It can take a bit of work on your behalf but having distinctly different personalities on your team can become a strong competitive edge as well as a leadership legacy.
 
If you are suffering with a difficult person on your team (or your boss) and you’d like help to figure out how to communicate better with them, send me an email.   There are numerous ways to connect!
 
If you aren’t on my mailing list, you’re missing out on other juicy tidbits to become an effective leader. It is never too late to sign up! I have sign up links all over my site, for your convenience. 🙂

According to Gallup State of the Global Workplace, 85% of employees worldwide are not engaged or are actively disengaged in their job.
 
“The low percentages of engaged employees represent a barrier to creating high performing cultures around the world. They imply a stunning amount of wasted potential.”
 
Wasted potential. How that phrase resonates with me!
 
Death by Administration
I'm sad to say, I was one of the walking ‘wasted potential’ not too many years ago. It was a dark and miserable time. My employer was doing a massive restructure, removing spans and levels of management and it was my job, as the HR lead, to implement it for my division.

Unfortunately the process they undertook was more of a spreadsheet exercise, versus strategic. So the work I loved and excelled at suddenly switched from senior level advisory work to a massive load of mundane administrative tasks Every. Single. Day. , and it went on for months.
 
This kind of work was my worst nightmare and even though it is hard to admit..I have never been very good at mind-numbing administrative work. It just wasn't the right work for me. What a complete waste!
 
Wasted potential.
 
People can’t thrive when they are doing the wrong work. It devalues them, misuses talents and creates unnecessary pressure.
 
During stress-filled change, leaders can fall asleep at the helm; too busy ducking for cover, they completely overlook the signs of utter disengagement around them.
 
Don’t waste your best resources like that; you will surely lose your highest potential people when you don’t pay attention.

Expert Lessons
A great way to stem the tide of employee disengagement is to tap into the abilities of EACH and every person on your team. Get people doing the right work utilizing their best skills, long before a change occurs.

According to Gallup's survey analytics it is your high potential talent that will take a walk if they are not engaged, long before the others. These top talent are the experts to learn from!
​
Here is what top talent say will help keep them: 
 
​Lesson 1

• Know their career aspirations and full employment background. What do they love to do? What do they detest doing. Why?

Lesson 2

• Know the strengths of each person. Never assume they want to or can do the work that everyone else does. Always match work to their strengths. It will save everyone time and pointless stress.
• Caution: A ‘stretch assignment’ isn’t taking on a bunch of administration or more work; stretch is learning a new skill that will help them and YOU in the future!

Lesson 3

• Know them as individuals. What environment makes them feel valued? Learn their communication and behavioural styles (use tools to discover) so you know where they struggle. Validate assumptions with the person directly, to be sure.

Lesson 4

• Identify the right incentives for each person. Top talent rises when they connect with real meaning and purpose. Make connections for them. How will their work make a bigger impact, better connect to the customer, and build a better company. Give them the ability to influence HOW they are recognized for achievements.
• Caution: Carrot and stick rewards do not work with high potentials. Offering a bonus to achieve an unattainable goal will not lead to greater engagement.

Lesson 5

• Spot the Hi-Po’s (High Potential). Based on their demonstrated behaviour, and how they work with others, watch for those who have the making of a leader. They are the ones who seek ‘meaty’ work, influence others positively and demonstrate company values. Let them know you see their potential. Having them lead a process, a project, a team meeting or strategy planning session shows trust.
• Caution: High Performance does not necessarily mean High Potential. Don’t confuse the two. Not everyone wants to, or is appropriate to, move up.

Lesson 6

• Give them meaningful feedback. One of the greatest gifts you can give anyone is candid feedback. Provide regular feedback that is both constructive and supportive. Candid feedback may be tough to give but so powerful to build your best people’s skills and career. Seek their feedback. They want to help you too, as long as you are open to receive.
• Caution: Feedback is not an ‘Atta Boy/Girl’ slap on the back. It is well thought out, providing a crisp accounting of what's working and where to make change, from a helpful perspective.

​
Lesson 7

• Stay in touch. Your high potential employees need a different type of leader than the “newbies” or the “steady Eddy's”.
• Don’t just look for status updates, check in on what is working well, where they have struggles, what help they need from you, what is getting in their way, ask them questions, actively listen…and then, most importantly, follow through!

Engagement Counts
The best leaders demonstrate they care about each and every team member by taking an interest. They pay attention, particularly during stressful times, leveraging potential vs wasting it. They make it a practice to develop potential, all the time. They allocate work in a way that plays to their people’s strength and they keep them connected to the bigger picture. 
 
When you demonstrate YOUR engagement, harnessing the potential of your best and brightest, you are guaranteed better results for highly engaged employees.
 
If you have a disengaged team (or team member) or are leading through stressful times and need support, I’m only an email away! I help leaders grow and develop by working with them through the toughest of times. I offer a 30-minute free consult.

I want to hear from you, tell me about your own experience in the reply section below.

If you’re like many of my clients, you have probably posted a job to fill, only to find yourself sifting through 200+ UN-qualified applicants.
 
With the likes of Monster, Indeed and Career Builder simplifying the job hunting process has made it easy for what I call 'serial job seekers' to blast out applications to a mass number of postings without even reading the full job posting.
 
But this doesn’t help you—you need to find the ‘right’ person to without wasting your time!

​This means you need to be extra diligent in your quest to hire, in order to reduce the number of serial job seekers you encounter.
 
To help you find the right fit for your new role, follow these top 5 tips…

One of the most frustrating and time-consuming aspects of every manager’s role is dealing with a difficult person on their team. But getting good at managing the most challenging employee can be well worth the time and effort invested, even if it doesn’t seem it at the time. Not only will you demonstrate top-notch leadership skills to ‘the powers that be’, but you’ll also be role modelling for those you are developing to be a leader – which looks great on you!
 
There are all kinds of difficult people to manage or to work with: the know-it-all’s, passive-aggressive’s, quiet sulker’s, loud mouths, pity partier’s etc.  And while you can develop specific strategies for managing each type, I have found there are a few general approaches for dealing with ANY difficult person that are often successful:
 
1.  Understand Your Own Type
I know what you’re thinking…’Hey, I’m not the one who is difficult, so why start with me?’  Well, that is because when you understand yourself, you can better strategize how to flex your style to effectively communicate with others. It also helps you recognize why some people drive you to the brink and press your buttons more than others. There are many assessment tools that can be used to develop a greater understanding of your own personality type and how you affect others.  DISC, Kolbe and Myers Briggs are quite common and a good place to start; it doesn’t matter which tool you use as long as you do the homework on self-discovery.  
 
2.  Understand Each Of Your Team Member’s Type
Unsurprisingly, I also recommend understanding the personality type of each of your team – not just the difficult one!  Teams are like living organisms; they have reliance and dependency on one other. People get along much better when they learn to appreciate the nuances and differences of each other. Personality assessments provide a non-threatening, consistent language that facilitates the breaking down of communication barriers.
 
3.  Be CANDID!
This is not for the faint of heart. Being clear and candid with a difficult person is not easy for most people, yet it is the single most important first step in managing the situation.  Regardless of the different types of ‘difficult people’, when you can articulate the issue head on, you’ll make better progress.  Help them to understand how their behaviour is impacting the office, the team or any key stakeholders.  Good ol’ Dr. Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge", and that holds true here too.  You have to call out what the problem is, particularly when it is causing trouble with others.  The way to do this is by clarifying the effect the person’s behaviour is having on others without judgement and blame.
 
A great reference for how to frame these conversations is a book called Crucial Confrontations. Just as the title implies, confronting is crucial! Regardless of how awkward the situation, when you deal with it with compassion and the right intentions, you can work with the person to find solutions.
 
4.  Look For An Underlying Issue
I’m not saying you should give them an excuse for their ‘difficult-ness’, but you may find that something may be at the root of their behaviour issues and knowing this will give you a clue for how to manage it.
 
I once worked with a man who, when heard on the phone with his wife, was clearly in a dictatorial relationship – he was a doormat at home, but a tyrant at the office! Once we realized that he had a need to feel in control because he had zero control outside of work, we were able to adapt how we dealt with issues to give him some measure of power within his work.  Very quickly, he stopped battling everyone else. 
 
Simply put, if you can spot the underlying issue, you can adapt your response.  It takes a little thoughtfulness, but it absolutely works.
 
5.  Tap Into Empathy
Sometimes you have to walk in someone else’s shoes to understand where they are coming from.  Try to put yourself in their situation to understand their point of view before jumping to conclusions. Did you know CCL research shows that, “Managers who show more empathy toward direct reports are viewed as better performers in their job by their bosses.”
 
In today’s social media rich world we are terribly quick to label a difficult person and criticize before taking time to understand who they are and how they view life.  In the workplace, it is a big win when you can find the bridge into their way of thinking – you can then help by making a connection and break down the issues.
 
6.  Accept 100% Responsibility For Your Response
I often say, no one can make you FEEL anything – how you choose to respond to any tough situation is all up to you.  The fact that someone is driving you crazy is a direct reflection of how you are responding to somebody else’s ways.  This is completely within your control. This is a tremendously liberating concept when you realize you have the ability to control your response. Brian Tracy - Free Your Mind: How You Are Responsible offers a great snapshot for just how to accomplish this!
 
When it gets really tough dealing with a difficult person and you are about ready to give up or you’ve been trying to follow HR guidance and still not getting at the heart of the matter, give Dots Leadership Solutions a call – we have a kit bag of approaches that have worked very effectively.  We also have some great assessment tools and can be available to plan for or facilitate discussions if you need an objective third party!