7 Steps To Communicate So it Connects!

Poor Communication = No Connection

​These days, with all the tools we have available, we are far more connected and capable of staying in touch than ever before!
 
So don’t you find it a bit ironic that in today’s workplaces, lack of communication remains one of the biggest issues for employees? Regardless of the industry or size of company!
 
Here’s the thing - if your team doesn’t feel heard, they don’t understand the direction of the company, never get constructive feedback, or they don’t think you care about them as a person, then why would they give you their best work?

Every one of those ‘misses’ can be remedied simply by taking steps to form a better connection with your team.
 
It’s More Than Words
Communication, when it does occur, may be missing the mark altogether! Between abbreviated texts and messaging, overwhelming volume of email or the ever brief, on-the-fly meetings these days, communication and connection is deteriorating, especially at work.
 
To further complicate our ability to communicate is the fact that most of us hear (absorb) less than 10% of what is actually spoken!
 
According to the Mehrabian Theory we attribute more meaning of a message through body language, facial expression, tone and pace of the conversation than that of the actual words voiced – hence why texts, messages, email and even phone messages can be misconstrued!
 
So ask yourself - how likely is it that YOU are communicating most effectively for your message to be received the way you intend it?
 
Using the scenario below, I’ll demonstrate my 7-step method to build rapport so you can improve every interaction!
 
Scenario - Disconnected Team
Team members, who report to your managers, have told you they feel disconnected lately. They claim that most one-on-one meetings with their manager(s) are being cancelled, and when they do happen it’s a quick download of one-way directives of what to get done, versus real conversation.
 
As a result, they feel excluded in the overall success of the department and don’t see the opportunity to learn, grow or develop. You sense a few are looking to leave the group or worse, the company.
 
You believe manager’s (on your team) need to involve their teams in problem solving vs giving orders and begin having development-focused one-on-one’s with each person (at all levels), at least once a quarter to rebuild a positive workplace.
 
What Not to Do
Even though it may seem the quickest ways, please don’t just call a meeting of your direct reports to tell them to start having one on one meetings focusing on development.
 
Just like their team members, they too will tune out being given a directive and may even take it out on their teams for speaking up, further complicating the problem.
 
7 Step Method For Communicating To Connect
While these steps may seem lengthy, it actually takes only a couple of minutes to practice and tailor to your circumstance.
 
Here are the steps:

1. Prepare
2. Create a safe environment
3. Lead with open-ended questions
4. Meet them ‘where they are at’, before diving in
5. Take time to make a personal connection
6. If delivering candid feedback be tough not mean
7. Be clear, direct and provide specifics

 
1. Prepare - consider your audience and check yourself. Think about what is important to you and why, and how might they view it?

• Ask yourself what is the manager’s preferred way to communicate? What is their communication style? Are they more fact-based than people focused? Do they react fast or slow? Are they more indirect or direct in their approach?
• Consider each managers communication needs before your discussion and tailor your approach to meet theirs (aka. flex your style)

 
2. Create a ‘safe’ environment – remember to praise in public, criticize in private

• Book individual meetings with your managers to deliver this particular message. Keeping it private ensures they can feel comfortable to discuss openly.

 
3. Lead with open-ended questions – question for clarity about their view of the situation and gather their input

• Use open-ended questions to create two-way dialogue i.e.) ‘What have you been you doing to engage your team in problem solving these days, given it has been so busy? How have you involved the team in developing solutions? How do you think it is going?’

 
4. Meet them ‘where they are at’, before diving in – use their viewpoint to build on. Put yourself in their shoes to show you’ve heard them (it also demonstrates empathy)

• Listen carefully to HOW they answer your question, maintaining eye contact and matching your body language, tone and pace with theirs
• The key is to keep dialogue open, avoiding a closed posture that may create tension or defensiveness
• Respond based on their response, build on THEIR perspective not yours

 
5. Take time to establish a personal connection – consider the challenges they speak about and build rapport by showing you understand how they feel, validate their perspective (this is not a feedback sandwich)

• ‘[Insert Manager’s name] I can see you’ve had a lot on the go and I’ve noticed you putting in very long hours. How do you think we can ensure everyone is getting feedback and meaningful work for their growth and development?’

 
6. When delivering candid feedback, be tough, not mean – show that you genuinely care about them as a person and expect a change to occur

• ‘I’ve heard from several team members that one on ones keep being canceled because you’re so busy. Unfortunately the perception is that they are not important and they are not receiving feedback to grow. I know that is not your intent’
• ‘What help do you need to change that?’

 
7. Be clear, direct and provide specifics

• ‘Starting next month I’d like you to meet with each team member, at least once each quarter, with the primary focus for their development’
• ‘I expect you to prioritize one on one meetings to remain connected to your team, even if they are just half an hour or occur every two weeks
• ‘I will commit to the same meetings with you so you can let me know how I can help’

 
Remember: Its All About Them
The same steps will work for any topic, particularly powerful for sensitive issues; the key is paying close attention, hearing their perspective, demonstrating you want their success and being clear about the outcomes that are needed.
 
Communication serves as the foundation for a positive employee experience for all of us. As a leader when you demonstrate support both through your words AND non-verbal interaction, your team will feel more valued and heard.
 
Taking time to get to know others and developing an understanding of their communication styles provides a platform to connect on a more personal level. This also creates stronger, more cohesive working relationships where difficult subjects can be discussed and dealt with efficiently.
 
Help Is Available
To gather insights on your team’s communication styles there are a variety of tools available (ie assessments, questioning techniques) feel free to reach out if you need help to find the right approach to connect and communicate in your workplace.